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第8弾 続き

オージー人達が不快と感じること〜 不快指数１００傑

Your 100 pet hates

Sunday Mail 10th Nov 2002

Your 100 pet hates

THERE'S certainly no shortage of pet hates among our readers who replied by the bag-load to our piece last week.

Here is a selection of the things that get under your skin.

1. 1. DRIVERS who do not have change ready when they get to the toll booths.
2. 2. NOISY neighbours.
3. 3. PICKING your nose at the traffic lights and realising you have an audience.
4. 4. MICROSOFT Word when it thinks for you.
5. 5. SOGGY pies that have been microwaved.
6. 6. TAILGATERS, drivers who chop and change lanes and those who don't give you space to change lanes.
7. 7. TELEMARKETING. Telemarketing. Telemarketing.
8. 8. PEOPLE who turn on taps when you are in the shower.
9. 9. WARM beer on a hot day.
10. 10. MOBILE phone users who think everyone within 100m has to hear what they have to say.
11. 11. THE fact that a mud crab must end.
12. 12. CORPORATE jargon such as "critical path" and "touching base".
13. 13. SMOKERS who flick their butts out of car windows – dangerous at the best of times but downright criminal at present.
14. 14. RACEHORSES that run fourth.
15. 15. NO-TALENT singers who rely on sensational film clips.
16. 16. PEOPLE who talk in cinemas.
17. 17. PEOPLE who say "24/7".
18. 18. PEOPLE who think the monster in Frankenstein was named Frankenstein.
19. 19. LIFESTYLE shows of any form.
20. 20. TV presenters who say "Welcome back" after an ad break, when you haven't been anywhere – they have.
21. 21. SUPERMARKETS that keep changing the location of the stock.
22. 22. ADVERTISEMENTS including "conditions apply" that can mean anything.
23. 23. TV movies that are only a little over two hours but run for three.
24. 24. PEOPLE who give only a mobile phone number and have it on voice mail and answer only the calls they want to. Particularly if they owe you money.
25. 25. SWIMMERS taking in swimming pool water and then spitting it out again! Yuk!
26. 26. PEOPLE whingeing about junk mail – put a sticker on your letterbox or put it in the recycling bin!
27. 27. LAZY shoppers too damn irresponsible to return supermarket trolleys to the trolley bays . . . and their car will be in two parking bays.
28. 28. HOW our kids think they are American, and being called "dude".
29. 29. ADVERTISING nonsense, including the classic "ears pierced while you wait".
30. 30. PEOPLE who don't have virus protection for their computer. I get sometimes four or five viruses a week. It drives me nuts!
31. 31. PEOPLE who mow the lawn at 8am on a Sunday.
32. 32. DRIVERS who use a 4WD for nothing more than taking the kids to school and doing the shopping.
33. 33. TRADESPEOPLE who don't show up on time – or at all.
34. 34. HYPOCRITICAL religious intolerance.
35. 35. NOT being able to go to the pub on Christmas Day and Good Friday.
36. 36. TV programs that don't start at the advertised time.
37. 37. FLUCTUATING petrol prices.
38. 38. SO-CALLED singers killing off Advance Australia Fair at sporting events – murder on the high Cs!
39. 39. WINE snobs.
40. 40. PEOPLE who crank up the bass on their car stereo in the hope they look cool to the bystanders annoyed by the thump, thump, thump reverberating through their bones.
41. 41. BEING asked where is the cat food just as you finish your "Braised Steak and Onion".
42. 42. BUSH turkeys relandscaping your garden
43. 43. KNOW-alls.
44. 44. GOING fishing and leaving your tackle box at home.
45. 45. GETTING your tongue stuck on dry ice.
46. 46. DOING a taste test on a sumptuous meal you have just prepared and burning four layers off your tongue.
47. 47. FOOD with hairs in it.
48. 48. AIRPORT toilet paper.
49. 49. PEOPLE who make a silly cradle out of their hand while telling you about a phone conversation.
50. 50. BEING the only one in the crowd to get hit with pigeon poo.
51. 51. DANCING in a night club and realising you are uncool and out-of-touch.
52. 52. HANGOVERS.
53. 53. ANYTHING to do with fashion.
54. 54. PRETENTIOUS doormen who tell you you're not good enough to enter their club.
55. 55. HAVING to throw out your favourite pair of shorts.
56. 56. BEING called "love" by someone you have just met.
57. 57. COMPUTERS that have American spelling and grammar in the spell check.
58. 58. CAR drivers who park across the footpath and force pedestrians on to the roadway.
59. 59. ROCK stars and soapie actors making profound statements on world events.
60. 60. EVERYBODY Loves Raymond. I'm yet to meet anyone who does.
61. 61. PEOPLE who start an answer with "OK . . . "
62. 62. PEOPLE who wiggle their fingers on each side of their head to demonstrate inverted commas.
63. 63. CAFES that don't know how to make a malted milk.
64. 64. PEOPLE who handle food without gloves on.
65. 65. PEOPLE who complain about jet-skis when they let their dog excrete in the sand we want to sit on.
66. 66. DAMIR Dokic – I haven't forgotten him.
67. 67. TEENAGE girls who think smoking makes them more attractive.
68. 68. WHEN two people block supermarket aisles with their trolleys by stopping to have a chat.
69. 69. PARENTS who swear in front of their kids and then yell at the kids for swearing.
70. 70. PEOPLE who repeatedly stab the Walk button until the symbol appears.
71. 71. SAYING "anythink" instead of "anything".
72. 72. PEOPLE who drive at 10km/h under the speed limit.
73. 73. MOVIE critics who tell you what the whole film is about.
74. 74. BUSINESS owners who do their own ads.
75. 75. OLD people who think they are "with it".
76. 76. PRETENTIOUS kids on TV, particularly those who tap dance.
77. 77. ROSE Hancock.
78. 78. WHEN someone says "It's only a game," when they are winning.
79. 79. THE way supermodels walk like they have displaced hips.
80. 80. TV commentators who refer to athletes by their nickname.
81. 81. INTERVIEWERS who incessantly interrupt the subject's response.
82. 82. THE astonishing price of disposable razors and toothbrushes.
83. 83. WHEN the shop assistant finally asks: "You right there?" after ignoring you since you walked in.
84. 84. TV ads blasting us out of our chairs and the stations denying the volume has been turned up.
85. 85. PREFACING sentences with: "What I'm going to do now is." It's like going from Brisbane to Noosa via Cairns.
86. 86. THE pronunciation of "Austrayia". Where's the L?
87. 87. ALL the people who have latched on to the expression "Not happy".
88. 88. THE Government for allowing cigarettes to be sold.
89. 89. THE fact that wearing light clothes invariably means you'll spill something on them, usually in an embarrassing place.
90. 90. PEOPLE who huddle around airport luggage carousels ensuring others can't get their luggage as it hurtles by.
91. 91. KIDS playing computer games in their rooms instead being outside.
92. 92. HOW you can sit quietly on a railway platform in complete silence until the train approaches, with all its rattles and other noises. Only then will announcements be made over the PA.
93. 93. BLACK judges and police chiefs in almost every US TV show and film . . . a sop to political correctness and a cruel distortion of the truth.
94. 94. RADAR traps at the bottom of hills.
95. 95. STAN Zemanek
96. 96. DRIVERS with a mobile in one hand, smoke in the other and not a cop to be seen.
97. 97. THE use of apostrophes to indicate plurals, such as fish and chip's.
98. 98. BOTTLED orange juice that's "squeezed fresh daily". Which day?
99. 99. SHOPS that display insulting and possibly illegal signs such as "No refunds", and, finally . . .
100. 100. PEOPLE who spend too much time thinking about what irritates them.

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